jenxy.blogspot.com

2012-01-17T23:04:00.001+08:00

whats the point of a reunion dinner
when its just a bunch of blood tied strangeres sitting tgt and having dinner

awkward

2012-01-15T14:28:00.000+08:00

life was never meant to be smooth sailing.
life was meant to be a roller coaster.

funeral speech

2011-09-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

i thought about things last night, more than i did collectively for the entire holiday.
i think i forgot something important in life.

i forgot to be thankful.

i am very thankful that in every phase of my life, i make friends whom i think can walk with me for a long long period of time. friends for life.

before entering university, i've always heard that uni is the hardest place for one to make friends, and believed in that, thinking that i'll just tolerate and pull through and hope that time flies past. but to my surprise, i made friends.
Hall friends from A clan are really a treasure, even though they might be the most expensive friends i had, and don't know why, they seem to like to meet at night-time, i call them the vampire group. And it consists of Ian, Aloy, Hazz, Suff, Vicki.
life as a floater in university was one of my most hated. but i also had a floaters gang, which were educated and gifted given that they had graduated from the few top JCs. but at the same time, they act like ah beng very often. thats mine high class ah beng gang with shaoming from rjc, daniel from vjc, jeremy from acjc and myself having graduated from victoria.
despite having friends as a floater, i still preferred to belong to a group. thanks to ian, i joined Natalie and Shu Juan in their tutorial group in my final year. and because of them, i think my final year was the best among the three years in NTU.
and Charles, though we only got closer through the mind over stress module, i find that we are friends who can click and keep in touch for a long time.

in junior college, things happened in my life and my priorities were shifted. studies hardly mattered. though i do spend time studying, i think my heart was never really there. I wasn't really close to my JC class. but i am thankful mostly to one person who accompanied me in the lessons, Sihua. though as we grew, things changed and our relationship seems to have taken a turn recently, sigh. and I am thankful for a big group of friends, eleven to be exact, forming a elegant eleven group, super lame, led by pikachu lover wen long.
my friends at air rifle were the ones that make me feel more belonged to victoria. and these are friends that i will keep for life. even though we don't always keep in contact. the usual gang. Ng zihui, Shunyuan, Eugene, Khai.
in the two years of college education, there was also two guys which made a difference in my life. we were called the poison gang cos we were all pretty poisoned. and i would not forget that after you two graduated from jc, you still went to the bus stop early in the morning on my birthday to give me my 19th year old birthday gift. I am thankful for friends like you, Zehong and Tatchung.

throughout my life, i took my numerous temporary jobs, short-term ones. and i am so glad to make a friend like you through one of them. Jerry yap. i am so thankful to have such a wonderful listening ear.

Secondary school gave me a group of girls, and many of my friends would know them. Jibin, Sherilyn, Huimei, Huijuan and Shukman. However, physical distance and busy schedules keep us apart. Some of us closer than the others, sometimes we switch close friends among the group. But these are friends that i will keep for life, and i am thankful for having them in my life.
in addition, i am so thankful for yongkian. because i feel that jb really loves him and is happy when they are together. i am thankful that someone is there for her. and i am thankful for dane. because sherilyn is so far away from home, thank you for giving her shelter and protection.
and i am thankful for my closest friends in st john, eliza and seehwee. because we went through all the tough times together. and i am thankful that i was given the chance to lead a team to gain national championship in FAC. the only regret with sj is that my relationship with the team soured after the competition. i am sorry for that.

i hardly keep in contact with my primary school friends, it is such a pity.

oh another two group of people.

wenxuan's army friends! chris, qihuat and ezekiel. i am so thankful that you guys accepted me into the group. even though chris was so very irritating at the beginning.

and of cos, wenxuan for going through thick and thin with me.

end of first day of work. i am so tired. i typed this out because i wish that when i die, at my funeral, this could be read out. and the names that appear here are the pple i wish to see at my funeral. thanks. and i am sure that i have missed out friends but i am so tired alr.......

i am the most fortunate girl in this world

2011-09-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

he accompanied my to shop.
H&M, Taka, City Plaza, Charles and Keith, Newlook.
he paid for my shopping expenses.
he buys a bubble tea for himself but lets me have the first mouth.

i am not a shopaholic. I don buy a lot of things. Buying things don't necessarily make me happy, sometimes it makes me sad cos i feel more broke. i am only happy when i got a good buy. =)

Beautiful worries

2011-08-20T22:46:00.002+08:00

do you realised that no matter what worries we have, its beautiful worries?
i don't know whats the term for it so i came up with my own, beautiful worries.

i was observing the children in toys'r'us, they have so many things. sometimes they don't even need to whine and cry to get the toys they want, and these toys aren't cheap at all! one helicopter is already more than my one day's pay (but my pay is super low. =( ) BUT STILL! as compared to the little UNACAS kid on my phone's wallpaper! holding a hammer and knocking off the rocks on the ground, and not wearing any shoes! i wish for that they little children in UNACAS can even have one hour of playtime in toys'r'us. they would be so elated!

so, thank god that i have to worry about repaying my school loan cos tt means i have a university education.
thank god that i have to worry about my phone bills cos i have a phone wiht unlimited sms!
thank god that i have to do housework endlessly cos i have a nice house to stay in.
thank god for all these beautiful worries that i have.

2011-08-15T00:51:00.002+08:00

there seems to be a lot of complications in growing up.
there's a growing need to be careful about what i say in social media websites like facebook and blogger, but i still wish that this remains an avenue that i can talk freely.

it seems like there's a nation growing anger towards our foreign companions here in singapore. and its not difficult to conclude that people here mainly dislike the PRCs. i don't dislike all the PRCs in singapore because i personally know some who are really fine and cultured.

However, i hate those who are here and constantly complains about the things in singapore. i've heard them complaining about our bus systems, our lousy magazines, our low standard of chinese and even something about singaporeans not understanding the value of gold(all these by personal experience). Well if u don't like it here, go back! I am sure singaporeans feel that the country is way too densed.
we'd appreciate some space
we'd appreciate seeing lesser people in town
we'd appreciate hearing lesser of your china accent
we'd appreciate not seeing girls in dresses and crocs walking down orchard road
we'd appreciate not seeing girls wearing long white socks with their lacy dress and covered shoes

i'd surely like to see how the government is going to handle this issue.

2011-06-21T22:22:00.007+08:00

I am definitely not pro in photography, but i just love taking beautiful pictures.

the view at taipei, Danshui, Fisherman Wharf

traditional fishing method at Sun Moon Lake

nice pier at Sun Moon Lake

sunrise at Sun Moon Lake

Taichung CingJing Farm - Qingqingcaiyuan

last one is my favourite!!!

2011-04-09T13:07:00.000+08:00

i realise how fortunate i am.

because i am like a child

under your protection.

=) thank you.

2011-04-05T16:30:00.002+08:00

i think nobody reads this. but this is how i want it to be. just wanna write stuff and vent anger. dont need anyone to know.

hais. feel realli breahtless and upset. wanted to pull up the grades but how can i do it? im so not motivated and dead after rushing out a report. somemore when its getting busy, i wont go home. maybe tt makes it worst. no one to take care of me. =( not like anyone takes care of me at home la.

dammit. why does tt sound so sad?

feel damn broke

feel damn irritated

feel damn breathless

i feel that i have nothing

shudnt i feel liberated in tt case? since i have nothing. no concerns.

question. shud we work hard to get more or be satisfied with what we have/

confused.

aiya don know what i talking also.

what shit is this.

2010-12-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

what did we do that was not enough for you?

we loved you and we cared for you.

as a father, as a mother, as a sister would.

maybe we didnt express ourselves enough or that we express it the wrong way.

but all we did was love and care for you.

you had everything you should have for someone your age.

but u choose to walk the other way, the darker way.

you choose your friends whom you think are cool and nice to be with.

you think they're awesome, now see who landed you in where you are now.

we did everything we should.

we're all worried and in tears now.

we may not express our fear and concern

but deep down inside us, we revolve our thoughts around you constantly.

you just didn't know.

you're 18, young and rebellious.

lesson after lesson, still unwilling to listen to us

now look at what you are going through now.

we still love you

and we'll never give you up

please don give up

and no matter how long it takes, we will wait for you.

2010-10-31T13:30:00.002+08:00

at 21, i feel that i've walked a long way in life.

anyone who walked my way could have ended up in a different route that i am taking now. anyone could have strayed, like my brother did, because that is truly the easy way out. I am thankful for friends who stood by me, for if not for them, I would not have been where i am now.

=) i am happy now. very happy now.

2010-07-13T09:04:00.003+08:00

Chanced upon this when my friend posted it on her facebook wall.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=10150197559305650&ref=mf

Remember that I've waited for you for two years.

in this two years, i waited for your arrival home 5 times at the airport.

Each time you were away for at least 3 months.

Each time i tear and cry without you by my side.

For the first whole year, i cry everytime i see you walk into camp

whether its Changi camp, stagmont camp or pasir ris camp.

Sometimes you are away, and i had a bad dream.

dreamt that you parachute was malfunctioning,

i woke up crying.

you met a new bunch of friends and goes clubbing together

i stay up, worried

i was crying and i couldnt sleep.

one time you came back drunk, fall to grounds at my corridor.

one time i picked you up.

other times you went home, we quarreled.

I waited two long years.

two years that you are not by my side,

i swear to god that i have never failed you.

i cancel all other appointments if it means i can spend precious time with you

i have lesser friends, and i didnt have you

i was lonely. but i just waited.

every time you have an event i am there.

make the extra effort, keep my day free.

most of the time im alone.

and i waited.

2010-05-05T12:08:00.001+08:00

and i hate that you will never see this post because you don care.

2010-05-05T12:00:00.002+08:00

i hate so many things about u.

i hate that i am not as impt as ur amway.
i hate that you still havent grown up.
i hate that you are alr so childish and yet still can point ur finger at me saying tt i am childish.
i hate that you never pack your bag.
i hate that your room is always in a mess and it only clears up once in a while when i visit, and i cleared it up.
i hate that you always break your promise.
i hate that you anyhow make a promise and never fail to break them.
i hate that you talk big about amway and produce no results.
i hate that you are so fickle minded about everything you do.
i hate that you lost two opportunities in smu law interviews and now when you don have the opportunity anymore, come to regret it.
i hate that you say sorry all the time but isnt sorry at all, or at least nothing is changed after that.
i hate that you push the blame to other people and to me for every failure you have.
i hate that you fail more than you succeed.
i hate that you are not able to lead.
i hate that you are the slacker and free rider in projects.
i hate that you don listen to me all the time and end up regretting not doing the things i tell you to do.
i hate that you lied to me time and again, over that fucking group of friends, which i hate to the core.
i hate that you think that amway is more important than your normal job.
i hate that you measure if you should do something by asking "is tt going to feed me in the future?"
i hate that you stupid organisation say don read the newspaper and be a frog in the well and you willingly oblige.
i hate that you listen to whatever your upline says without processing them in your head.

there's still so much more.

i just hate every single thing about you.

2010-03-07T13:44:00.002+08:00

Dear all,

this entry is about ALL CATS EAT FISHES. no doubt about that of course, and all men want woman, and cannot get enough of them.

SCREW YOU ALL MEN WHO HAVE AFFAIRS.
you dont have the right to ruin your family this way.
you dont have the right to engage in affair when you wife waits on you and the children.
you have no right in keeping your wife with you, and fucking every other girl.

even if tiger woods apologies, cries or whatever shit, whats done is done.
can you turn back time?
can you give her back her husband?
its no longer the same.
why should u regret now and not think abt it when u are fucking the every other girl.

I AM SO DAMN PISSED

AND NOW JACK NEO MUST JOIN THE LEAGUE?
what the heck?!?
she wasn't even born when u got married.
have you lost your mind?
even if you had, you should not be forgiven.

murder takes away lives
affairs takes away the family life.

SCREW U TWO.

just don understand why must all guys be like this? is sex realli that important? will you die without it?

anw addiction is no excuse too. OMG. WHY ARE GUYS LIKE THAT?
roll eyes endlessly.

2010-02-07T14:07:00.003+08:00

Woots, its been a really long time since I last updated.

one update.

I WILL BE AT HONGKONG FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!
WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i probably might not update again cos i am so very busy, so...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

my luggage may be small, but if you can squeeze in, just come along.
lol.

anw, a random thought.

you may have many friends, but have you thought about which friend is the real friend that will stay with you through hard times and be there for you because he/she genuinely care?

I am not a social butterfly, and I dont bother making many friends. I want real friends.
and i am glad to say that, if im not wrong, i do have real friends in my life. =)

do you have one?

2010-01-18T22:27:00.002+08:00

Is this how u learn new things?

because i learn many new things thr this method.
self discovery. the cycle is as below.

there's no one to help u with something. u try to figure out that something. u made a mistake. u ask people. u make another mistake. then u learn it.

tts how i fixed my lightbulb. but im still at... I MADE ANOTHER MISTAKE. lol. haven learn yet. the person i asked said tt i will die repairing it cos i will kanna electrocuted. =(

LOL.

2009-12-24T08:13:00.001+08:00

disappointed.

2009-12-14T09:14:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND SOON-TO-BE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

recently miss ng zihui went to dig out the antique blog entries from our JC years. all those time that we have a pond to dunk pple in for their birthdays, have a huge field to play water bombs, eat dinner after late rifle trainings and studying at the range or library together. not to forget the memorable chalets; first one was all abt dunking and soccer, while the latter abt...purple steamboating? hahhahaha.

but it has all became history, when will i be able to revive similar emotions.