Sad

Not having a job gives me a myriad of feelings. Having time to do what I didn't do for the last two years, catching up on the little things in life. But what is gone is gone. Time waits for no man. Time can't be turned back.

I left my job, and my boyfriend started his. Ironically, in the same company. Thought we will be able to have more time together, looks like I was so wrong.

Not having a job gives me a lot of insecurity. Makes me feel weak and useless. Having to scrimp and not eat good food is killing me. Wonder if this is considered very pampered and spoilt.

I didn't grew up like others, I was never the one my parents dote on the most. Material goods? Narh~ But my boyfriend dotes on me like no others. It is like compensating for all the years lost.

I guess i am not very good with words, I just love him a lot, from the deepest part of my heart. I love him so much. We are so in love. I wish these things won't change. I am so afraid.

I hope things start to fall into place sooner. HDB please come soon... T_T

My home is not for the living

I hate where I stay.

If this came out of the mouth of a teenager, it might seem like an ungrateful brat who was complaining about what he has and not treasuring what he has.

I wish I was that person, but I am not. There is just nothing to treasure over here. I did housework today, wanted to start cleaning up the place which one will usually miss, including a table beside the television. It belongs to my brother and it has several toys and sweets on it. Nope, you are missing the point, it is not a play table. It is an alter.

Get the picture?

When I was clearing the stuff, my bro came out of his room and I asked him to come clean the table by himself. He said he already bathed and didn't want to do it then, and ADVISED ME NOT TO TOUCH THE TABLE. It is not the usual childish threat.

Can I have a home please? I need my own home desperately. Please gimme my BTO. T_T